Hi guys. If it bothers me - I'll say it! However, I have relinquished the principle of self-ownership - yes, I am not my own, I've been bought with a price.
Tuesday, September 10, 2013
Things I Love About Tarok People & Culture.
I am a tarok woman by birth. Both my parents are tarok. And though I was born and raised in Lagos for the first 17 years of my life, my parents tried very hard to inculcate tarok values in me in faraway Lagos. So I can proudly say that I speak tarok even though not as fluently as I would have loved to or like some of my tarok peers. I can also proudly say that I go by a tarok name which is a good thing because my features aren’t so tarok-ly pronounced and several people have mistaken me for a southern lady - that is until they hear my name.
As a tarok woman, my ethnicity places me squarely from Langtang and geo-politically from the Middle-belt or North-central region of Nigeria. That makes the Hausa language, alongside the English language, the lingua-franca of my state, Plateau state even though I speak laughable Hausa. Ok. Enough introductions.
When my parents relocated to Jos, I began to meet & know relatives I had hitherto not met. I began to understand some tarok ways & traits even better. I also came face to face with the twist & turns of the tarok traditions - some I loved while some scared me shitless.
I love the way the tarok woman is brought up on hygiene. The tarok woman is brought up to be clean, neat & tidy. It is expected of a tarok woman to be well domesticated – should know how to cook well, clean well, farm well & generally, take good care of the home – you know, in the typical African manner. My parents taught me all these – yes including farming – I hate farming! This physical exercise, I believe is too exerting for women or perhaps, if I may add, modern women.
I love that tarok women can cook very well ranging from delicacies I love like tuwo, amwam (amora), rice with zogele, soups like agbantar, ground-nut soup & izhin, karkashi, okra, etc. My mom taught me how to cook these too. I love that tarok women are taught to dress properly & decently covered. Mother taught me this too. I love that tarok women can compose and sing beautiful native songs. Mother taught me this too.
I like the way we are taught to respect our elders. I like the way we are taught to receive & welcome strangers. In truth, if you forget anything, you rarely forget the hospitality shown to you by a tarok family. I still believe that two of the strongest & striking qualities of the tarok people, are their generosity and hospitality to strangers & visitors.
The tarok people are a firm advocate of the saying: “first impression matters.” The tarok man would rather starve with his family than let a stranger go hungry. And I mean that literally. If you doubt that, just pay a visit to a tarok home.
I love the communal spirit of the tarok people especially the support they give during bereavement, or loss. The tarok man would rally around to provide comfort to a grieving family. The women would cook & visit; the men would give financial support & also visit. What about during weddings? If a tarok man/woman loves you, he/she would cross rivers just to be present at your wedding. I believe that when it comes to support, the tarok people have a strong support system.
For the sake of peace & neighbourliness, the tarok person can over-look numerous offences just to keep the peace until when comprehensively provoked. You have a tribe that can be quite enduring. Of course, you cannot talk about Christianity/religion & leave out the tarok people. Tarok Christians are passionate about their God & Sundays. Tarok traditional worshippers are passionate about their gods & Orims. I love this tarok passion.
O how I love the passion of the tarok man or woman. Their passion for anything gives them focus, makes them committed & give them the strength to achieve. I love the way the men are taught to aggressively defend their families & communities. Your typical tarok man, can die for his people – no kidding. They are fiercely loyal & protective & would courageously take up arms, if need be, to defend what they love. Perhaps, that is why many of them are found in military professions. These and many more are some of the things I love about my tarok people & nation.
But it seems, these days and naturally too, a new breed and generation of the tarok people are rising up and have risen, who do not understand certain aspects, ways & traditions of the tarok nation. These breed of new generation tarok youths are questioning certain age-long traditions that seem unappealing and discriminatory to tarok women and the fair notions of justice & equity in tarok land.
For instance, the issue of certain tarok traditional policies that relate to our customs and how it affects good governance amongst tarok people and in tarok land. We can all agree that “governance is a people to people movement. It is a vibrant interaction between people, between structures, processes that support the exercise of legitimate authority in provision of sound leadership, direction, oversight, and control of an entity in order to ensure that its intention and purpose is achieved, and that there is proper accounting for the conduct of its affairs, the use of its resources, and the results of its actions.”
While bad governance is not responsive to the changing needs of the people, good governance, according to Kofi Annan, former UN Secretary-General “is perhaps the single most important factor in eradicating poverty and promoting development.”
Research clearly shows that good governance has certain major qualities. It is participatory, consensus oriented, accountable, transparent, responsive, effective and efficient, equitable and inclusive, and follows the rule of law. In other words, good governance amongst the tarok people should be responsive to the present and future needs of the tarok people and nation and should exercise prudence in policy-setting and decision-making, in which the best interests of all stakeholders are taken into account. You would all agree with me that the tarok women are major stakeholders in tarok community. It is therefore acceptable wisdom that for the good development of both the land and people, women are treated fairly and equitably.
From the discussions I have held with several tarok women, my mom inclusive, two crucial issues stand out like open sores about the way & manner a tarok woman is contemptibly abused when it comes to asset possession in the land.
1) The issue of Not giving land to women in tarok land.
2) The issue of Not including women in a representative & equitable manner during inheritance distribution.
I have been told several times by my mom, uncles, brothers and relatives that it is anti-tarok to give women land or inheritance in tarok land. One would think that the rules dropped from heaven and fell slap-dash on the tarok nation. Why? Because women were regarded in those days, as inferior to men and it was even considered a waste of time sending them to school.
Now come let us reason together as reasonable people. In the past, ancient traditions/superstitions frowned upon twin-births but with education & enlightenment came understanding & thankfully, the killing of twins was abolished. In the past, people were buried alive alongside a dead king but with education & enlightenment, this practice was abolished. Again, the practice of slavery was abolished because rational & moral thinking people opposed it. People were stoned to death in the past for committing adultery, but from a Christian perspective, Jesus changed all that with His message of love and forgiveness.
There are so many barbaric & detestable practices that we have condemned and dropped because with education & enlightenment and perhaps civilisation, it has become anomalous to our society.
Today, we have very many educated & enlightened tarok men & women. Isn’t then, time to change these discriminatory customs of land & property against our women?
Why? You may ask. It is simple logic. Today’s tarok women, many of whom are educated are also contributing significantly to the overall development of the family, the community & the nation. We have women ranging from Ambassador (Prof) Mary Lar, Professor Lami Lombin, Dr Patricia Lar, Dr Mafwil, to Hon. Beni Lar making impact in their respective endeavours. We have female tarok doctors, surgeons, lawyers, engineers, writers, lecturers, architects, business women, bankers, politicians, military personnel, etc in diverse professions of life contributing their own quota to development anywhere & everywhere in this nation and the world.
Believe it or not, this issue of land & inheritance is affecting & grieving our women & has short-changed many a tarok woman. On the other hand, our women investors are going outside tarok land to acquire land & properties in order to protect themselves. I have friends who are building in Lagos, Abuja, Jos, etc because as one of them puts it, “at least, the land is in my name.” Another tarok woman by marriage said hissing, “if I build in my husband’s village, tomorrow now, in the event of the slightest quarrel or death, my husband's people or brothers will come and claim that I should give them back their land.” Still another tarok woman was deprived of a property she bought in her father’s name because of her female gender. A close friend once told me of how her uncle took ownership of her father’s house because her mom bore only female children and because tarok indigenous laws do not make provision for land ownership privileges for our female folks. This is simply appalling!
Some have been driven out of homes they built or invested in merely for the simple fact that they were barren, single or had only female children. Women should not be discriminated against merely because they are barren, single or bear only female children. Being a woman is not a crime. And this practice is not in the interest of equity & good governance. We cannot talk about good governance in tarok land without addressing certain grievous issues concerning how we treat our women. We cannot talk about good governance without addressing vexing issues about tarok customs that discriminate our women. Isn’t it about time we do away with customs that excludes women from owning lands and sharing inheritance in the land?
What am I saying? I am saying that today, tarok women are effectively holding decision making roles in the society and performing at these roles commendably. This means our women are not inferior to the men. This write-up is not putting forward a case of equality nor dragging equality status with our men. No, even though that is debatable. I will be the first to accept that the man is the Cock-Rooster and therefore free to do his cock-a-doodle-doo which makes him the head of the family – based on my religious beliefs and still subject to meeting certain conditions.
However, I cannot accept that tarok women cannot be equitably represented in the distribution of land & inheritance in tarok kingdom & amongst tarok families. It is highly repugnant to absent women from land ownership/inheritance. It is anti-tarok to be discriminatory.
I am therefore appealing to our sage, educated, enlightened & compassionate tarok people, influencers, elders etc to reconsider & change the laws of the land that do not favour the tarok woman.
I hope this article would re-open robust & engaging discussions about the issues affecting not only the tarok woman but also, other perennially pressing issues about governance and leadership principles in tarok community. I shall conclude with this tarok proverb: “Aya pu una atak abu ucar te iwab iram kat do.” Meaning, only if you give a woman a farm land, would she then be able to farm.
My name is Chalya Princess Miri-Gazhi and I am proud to be a tarok woman.
@signetseal
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Brilliant write-up Chalya. Thanks for opening up such a debate and calling attention to the challenge faced by the Tarok women.
ReplyDeleteIt is a shame that at this point in time, such practices still prevail in our society. Like you rightly stated, some of the obnoxious and archaic ways of life have been expunged by right thinking people in accordance with the dictates of the era in which they lived.
About time too that the female child is given the requisite rights as her male counterpart. Women in Nigeria are making tremendous strides in all human endeavours and therefore it should be different for the Tarok woman/women. They need to be given the right to own their own lands. It is not rocket science.
If you have the means to acquire one, let it be in your name. If you happen to be an only child in the family, the land should be passed on to you regardless of your gender.
Desmond Tutu of South Africa has been credited with this great quote:"If we are going to see real development in the world then our best investment is WOMEN!"
My thoughts exactly Mr Sam. I couldn't have said it any better. An empowered woman anywhere is indeed a great investment & translates to development for the world everywhere.
DeleteBeautiful and brilliant piece, Chalya. Many will call some of us women apologists or even women-wrapper. That is fine with me. But let them start with God Who said that the woman is a joint-heir with the man. It may take some time before some of these practices like denying women an inheritance from their parents' estates will wane. However, some of us have started finding ways around them by giving our daughters land and houses in their names while we are still alive. Others take care of these things in their written wills which no custom or tradition can supercede. But after reading your piece, I think we will begin to make conscious efforts to change this practice, not necessarily by trying to change the tradition, but by working for the enactment of state edicts that will ensure gender parity regarding inheritance. May the Lord help us all.....David Jaafaru Wuyep
Delete@David Jaafaru Wuyep: Many thanks for stopping by to drop your much needed comments & contribution to this subject. I am glad that some reasonable tarok men like you are seeing the need to re-dress this issue of women inheritance & I hope you share this article and thoughts with your fellow tarok brothers. :)
DeleteI'm glad I stumbled upon this piece. It was like I was reading my mind. The Tarok woman is naturally strong, but that doesn't mean she should be subjected to gruesome times. As Mr Jafaru said, we should work at changing the practice not tradition for without tradition we wouldn't be celebrating iTarok today.
ReplyDeleteThere are a lot of things beautiful about the Tarok people and you've captured it beautifully.
@Purpledivaa thanks for stopping by and adding your voice to this piece. Tradition is simply a consolidation of acceptable practices that have come to stay over time. I strongly believe that it's time we do away with practices that discriminate against tarok women. Pls keep the conversation going by sharing this article with fellow tarok people. :)
ReplyDeleteWow...Am also In Lagos Schooling @Ikorodu Garage!!! Sis Chalya Have you Left Lagos?
ReplyDelete